Slapfish

I felt like a kid who had been anticipating birthday cake all year only to end up with a box of raisins.

We visited Slapfish on a Monday afternoon, not long into the opening hour. We walk in and the people are pretty mundane and while this shouldn't be super effective, it makes me immediately question how my food will taste. I asked what the market price was for the lobster and they looked at me as if I asked for gold slivers to be put on my food. MP was $21 for lobster, so I opted for the fish and chips.

We each got a fountain drink, which are $3.50 each, so you're better off saving your money for a beer. They serve Tractor beverages, which I guess could be good, but half the fountain options were empty. I will say the tea was tasty. Was it $3.50 tasty? No. Also, there was sticky residue all around the drink area and soda spilled on the counter.

We made our way to our table, feet sticking to the floor every step of the way. Keep in mind, they opened at 11:00 and we were there at probably 11:15...why was everything contaminated with what felt like kindergarten germs? Once seated I realized there's nothing on our table. No condiments, silverware, napkins, anything. I'm just not about that stock-your-own-table life. I'm no diva, but I did just spend $7 on two fountain drinks, so I do feel like it's warranted to channel my inner princess at this point.

Our appetizer was delivered. Without plates. Because, why wouldn't customers have to get up and get their own plates? I was also looked at again as if I'd asked for something absurd like a slapped cow instead of a slapped fish. We had the chowder fries and while they weren't bad, there wasn't anything special about them. It honestly tasted like a can of Campbell's chowder soup was used. Whatever.

Up next, our fish and chips. We each ordered the same thing: Fish and Chips with grilled tilapia. As you can see below, the dishes looked totally different. Maybe the tilapia were fraternal twins or got slapped differently. I don't know. The dish didn't taste bad, but it wasn't something I'm dying to get again.

They also served the dish with the tiniest excuse for a lemon. I'm no lemon snob, but come on. Give me at least 1/4 of a lemon.

Below is the receipt for our lunch. I wouldn't say the prices are bad by any means, but I will say that The Metro Wine Bar & Bistro is just a stoplight away and their lunch specials always leave me feeling like the happiest gal.