Special Ed | Year 5

Special Education Teacher | Year 5

Since getting into education I've randomly caught wind of the saying, "for special education teachers the burnout is usually during year 5." My response has usually been:

Alas, I'm on year 5 (6 months in) and I'm experiencing this dramatic shift in my head telling me to escape. I started writing about my journey in special education starting from year one, but this year is so fresh on my brain and still in action. With that being said, let's start with year 5, the 2019-2020 school year that we'll be calling "The WTF Year."

The year started as many others have: excitedly arranging my classroom, anxiously awaiting to meet the new staff I'll be working with, my students, their families, mentally trying to remember procedures, and really just trying to breathe and laugh through another awkward new beginning.

For a more detailed portion of why, what, and how this year has been so challenging, continue reading.

1. I had a difficult student behaviorally and after so many physical contacts he made with myself, students, and other staff members along with calling people a "disgusting bitch," etc. I decided to finally listen to that voice in the back of my head and take action. Rather than dealing with the student, he was suddenly removed from my room and placed in another class. Great for me, right? Sure. I didn't feel like this was a total win, as it seemed to be more of a silencer used against me to stop making a fuss. The parents were no dreamboat either----they were pros at pointing fingers, making excuses for negative behavior and so forth.

2. I have a student whose family continues harassing me. Since August I've been harassed at all hours of the day, any day they choose. I eliminated some outlets of correspondence and that increased the badgering in other areas. We've had meeting after meeting and there's never any resolve. I've been lied about, lied to, yelled at, cursed at, threatened, and the list goes on. It's draining, y'all. It's probably more draining because what the non-teacher version April wants to say to these people is, "STFU you ignorant assholes." BUT, apparently that's not okay because teachers aren't supposed to be individuals with contradicting opinions. We're just supposed to smile and nod like it's NBD to have your character criticized and be talked to like your dirt on the bottom of a shoe.

3. I've had a student whose parent brought their own thermometer to school when they were called about the student having a fever. The parents thermometer did not read an elevated temp and the student was brought back to my class---fever and all. This parent also cursed at office staff. A real gem.

4. A different parent also disagreed with a thermometer reading and refused to pick up her student. I'm sure you'll be surprised to learn that he ended up having the Flu. [insert me high-fiving my immune system for not contracting that fun virus.]

5. My certification is for mild/moderate special education and while most of my students are all so sweet and loving, their needs far exceed my certification. There are people who would LOVE this job (I think) and I'm not one of them. I've learned that it's OKAY to say you don't love your job---even a job working with tiny humans. I love them (the students), but my brain is not wired to love this work.

6. We all work best with different types of leadership styles. I work well for those who run a tight ship. I need to know expectations, procedures, and have very few variables. When this is lacking, it basically eats at my soul. Every day there's something that makes me think, "what is going on?"

7. I will say, one of the biggest stress relievers I've found at any job is finding "my people." The people who just feel like a big hug. This hasn't been my year to find "my people." I've found them at every job and I've finally hit the one where I feel like I'm on a deserted island---but not a fun island with tiki drinks and sunshine. Don't feel bad for me, I have people, my expectations just weren't met in this one, microscopic part of my life. I just thrive off relationships, but it's fine. I'm fine. Didn't someone once say, "This too shall pass."

Notice none of this has to do with funding. There's not a pay raise high enough (not actually true) to keep me in a job where respect and professionalism are lacking.

I'll stop there for now, but I'm sure I'll collect more thoughts in the upcoming minutes, days, or months.

Cheerio, y'all.